Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I’m obsessed with Barstool Sports’ pizza review web series and app One Bite. For one, the guy who hosts the series—the founder/president of Barstool Sports Dave Portnoy aka El Pres aka Stool Presidente—is hilarious. And though he’s laugh-out-loud funny with his antics and one-liners and overall approach to fans and hecklers during the “man on the street”-style show, he takes the art of reviewing pizzas (primarily in NYC and the Northeast) very seriously. He knows people are paying attention to his ratings, so he takes pride in the job he bestowed on himself. He talks shit when appropriate, and shows respect when appropriate, too. And he keeps the content coming, posting a new review basically every weekday, with hundreds of reviews already in the bag (I think he’s done close to 500 but don’t quote me on that).
I personally find the guy extremely entertaining, and honestly, I want to work with him on something one day (I’ve got an idea for you, Pres!) Maybe it’s because we’re both Jewish dudes in our early 40s who like pizza. Or maybe it’s because he heads up one of the biggest sports media properties on the planet and manages to still be completely off the hook (he got kicked out of the Super Bowl last weekend and he also recently started a weed-smoking crew called the #MHOC aka the Monster Hits Only Club).
But beyond the entertainment value of the host himself, the simple premise of the One Bite show is what makes it so addicting to watch. Portnoy and his camera man Frankie (“Alright Frankie…”) visit a new pizza shop each day and order their plain cheese pie or slice. Then, whether he’s alone or with a celebrity guest, Portnoy kicks off the tasting with his signature phrase—”One bite, everybody knows the rules.” And of course, he always takes more than one bite.
From there, he proceeds to rate the pizza between 1 and 10, breaking down the cheese, crust, sauce, style, presentation and more, and priding himself on giving professional, figure-skating style scores with decimal points. Good pizza? You might score somewhere in the 6s or 7s. Really, really good? You might break into the 8s. Phenomenal?!?! You could land yourself a rare 9 or above score, of which he’s only given out a handful.
Perfect segue into his latest review above of legendary 914 pizza shop Johnny’s Pizzeria in Mount Vernon, which he gave a very respectful 9.1 score. And below, peep a couple other choice reviews—a recent extended review he did out in Elizabeth, New Jersey with the one-man-shop’s owner, and his review of Joe’s in Manhattan with my favorite rapper of all-time Action Bronson.
Download the One Bite app for more reviews, including all of Dave’s reviews, his celebrity reviews, and reviews done by the people, too. It’s actually a very useful app if you’re looking for good pizza, no matter where you are. Props to El Pres, you da man!