My dude Billy Henderson is back once again with his Top 5 Tables from Westchester Magazine’s Best Of Westchester party, easily the most baller summer party of the year in the 914. Here’s his brilliant breakdown…
It’s that time again. Uncle Ralph’s annual party on the L.I. Sound jumped off last night. It was hot, steamy, and jammed packed like always. Lots of music, lots of food, one creepy old magician, and one reality TV family from the Housewives of New Jersey. The Kardashians are really fuckin’ expensive apparently. Most importantly there was lots of food to eat and that’s why my fat ass is writing this. Lets do this:
One great thing about this year was the abundance of seafood. These guys were on last year’s list for a reason. Outside on an extremely hot night, these guys shucked 1800 clams and oysters. The clams were from Strong Island’s North Shore and the oysters were from the fine state of Washington. Super fresh. Super briny. Super simple. Super.
When I walked into the party, it was hard to miss Chef Dave’s custom made, wood burning pizza oven in front of the place. It was also hard to miss the lightning in the background. Eventually Chef Dave’s team waited out the passing storm and started banging out six or seven types of delicious pizza. Fresh dough, homemade mozzarella, and an insane portable oven. Really tasty. Margarita and lemon pies were standouts. Nice.
Sushi Mike had his game face on this year as he worked the line, saucing plates and spitting game to wealthy white women. Lots of women at this table. There was a rumor of women throwing up in the bathroom to make room for more sushi. Gross but possible. There was a bootleg Sushi place downstairs, that I’m sure Sushi Mike found comical. I did. I laughed, as I inhaled multiple pieces of incredible sushi into my mouth. Real Sushi. No Bootleg. Thank You Mike.
This table had a few choices of food to taste from, which I’m not a big fan of. Focus on one dish, make it tasty and maybe you’ll make this list. Fortunately, one of those choices was a lobster taco. Freshly made, mini hard taco shell, filled with lobster and mango. I buried a half dozen of those joints. Tasty.
I approached this table and there was a bald chef with his head down preparing food. As he lifted his head, I realized it was Chef Michael Psilakis. If you ever watched Food Network’s “Chopped’ or pay attention to the food scene in this country, you would recognize this guy. I recognized him and know for a fact that he is a extremely badass chef. What I didn’t know was that this chef is a gigantic jerkoff. Chef Jerkoff was serving “Greek Sushi.” I asked him to explain this piece of sushi and he gave me a look of pure disgust. The “Greek Sushi” consisted of sushi rice, scallop, pistachio butter, pickled fennel, preserved cherry and yogurt. If you’re going to have so many ingredients in one bite of food, you will need to explain that shit jerkoff. I’m sure this nerd caught a lot of wedgies in high school and he tried to take it out on potential customers like myself. If there was a camera around when I asked, he would of put on an entire cooking demo for me. Chef Jerkoff was a little too gassed for my taste but his “Greek Sushi” was really delicious.
Shouts to Uncle Ralph, WESTCHEDDAR, Ipcus, Anti Griddles, girls dressed like Mermaids, custom Pizza Ovens, that kid from high school that I couldn’t remember, humidity, reality TV families, Smartinellis, Kruegers, S.S. Kildare, all cooks and staff at the party……………….Great Night as always. See ya next year.
Billy! Another year, another incredible review! Thanks for sending over. Give me a heads up next year, I gotta make my way back to this party. Haven’t been in a few years. But next year I’ll get a sitter and come pop off like old times. Cheah…