My Grandma Sooky passed away last week, just shy of her 91st birthday. Time stopped, and we all went west to San Francisco to be together as a family, and lay her to rest. It was an emotional Labor Day weekend, but also one of the most amazing times I have ever spent with my family, capped off by an evening of watching my Mom play old standards and showtunes on the piano while my Aunt Karen and Aunt Judy led a family singalong in grand cabaret fashion. Lots of laughs, and even more tears. I love you and miss you so much Grandma, but your spirit lives on in all of us Isenbergs and Trattners and Dolds. Here’s the amazing eulogy my father wrote and read at her service. It’s beautiful, and it will give those of you reading this who did or did not know Sooky a sweet look at her wonderful life…
OH SOOKY……YOU DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE. NOT SURPRISING THAT YOU WOULD DECIDE THAT IT WAS TIME TO GO AS WE ALWAYS KNEW THAT YOU WERE IN THE “DRIVER’S SEAT” ON MOST MATTERS. STILL, YOU STAYED WITH US FOR MORE THAN 90 YEARS AND THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE RUN FOR YOU, OUR MOST TALENTED FRIEND, MOTHER, MOTHER IN LAW, GRANDMOTHER AND OF COURSE, REAL ESTATE ENTREPENEUR! FOR MORE THAN 40 YEARS, I KNEW YOU AS THE “HUSBAND OF GAIL” AND THEN, “DAN AND BECCA’S” DAD. THOUGH MOST MEN IN THE TRATTNER WORLD ONLY PLAY A LIMITED ROLE IN THIS LONG RUNNING FEMALE DRAMA, I WAS ALWAYS PLEASED WHEN WE HAD A MOMENT OR TWO TO OUR SELVES ON THE TRATTNER FAMILY STAGE.
WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, YOU WERE LIVING A SAN FRANCISCO LIFE FROM YOUR SEACLIFF ABODE OUTSIDE THE GOLDEN GATE. YOUR GIRLS, JUDY, GAIL, KAREN AND DEBRA, WERE MAKING THEIR WAY IN MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, BUT FORTUNATELY HAD LEARNED MANY IMPORTANT SURVIVAL SKILLS FROM THEIR MOM. THEY ALL HAD YOUR TENACITY, PERSERVERANCE AND OF COURSE, BEAUTIFUL, CAPIVATING GOOD LOOKS. THEY HAD LEARNED FROM YOU HOW TO CARE FOR THEMSELVES, BUT ALSO THE VALUE OF WOMANHOOD AND THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY. THEY LOVED YOU, YOUR MOM (GRANDMA ROSE) AND SOMETIMES OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR CLAN WHO WANDERED INTO AND OUT OF THEIR LIVES. THE CONSTANT FACTOR WAS YOU, THE PILLAR OF MOTHERHOOD AND WOMANHOOD THAT STOOD STRONG IN SPITE OF THE TRICKY WINDS OF A LIFE OF SAN FRANCISCO.
AS OUR YEARS PASSED, WE HAD MANY WONDERFUL MOMENTS TOGETHER AS WE SHARED THE JOYS OF SAN FRANCISCO LIFE. ON YOUR 65TH BIRTHDAY, THEN MAYOR FEINSTEIN DECLARED “SOOKY TRATTNER” DAY IN SAN FRANCISCO. YOU AND ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND BUSINESS PARTNERS CAME TOGETHER TO ENJOY A PETER MINTIN SERENADE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, A SONG OR TWO ACTUALLY SUNG BY YOU AND THEN A SERIES OF “CAMPY” TOASTS THAT PROBABLY MADE MAYOR DIANE A BIT NERVOUS…..ADMITTEDLY, ME TOO.
YOUR LIFE CONTINUED WITH REAL ESTATE SUCCESSES, JOYS BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR DAUGHTERS AND OF COURSE, NUMEROUS SAN FRANCISCO GALAS, DEBUTS, MASKED BALLS AND EVENINGS OF ENTERTAINMENT AND FRIENDLY REVELRY. IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF THIS CRESCENDO OF PLEASURE, YOU ALSO SHOWED US HOW TO MOURN FOR FRIENDS, ENJOY THE FRUITS OF YOUR HARD WORKING LABOR, AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER WHEN TIMES WERE TOUGH. YOU SHARED YOUR “SEKEL” (COMMON SENSE) AND IN MANY INSTANCES, YOUR HARD EARNED CASH. YOU WATCHED OUT FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS AND MADE SURE THAT THEY KNEW RIGHT FROM WRONG EVEN IF WRONG SOMETIMES MADE SENSE TOO! YOU ALSO INSURED YOUR OWN INDEPENDENCE BY ESTABLISHING YOURSELF AS A FORMIDABLE REAL ESTATE BROKER AND A PERSON THAT HAD FOSTERED YOUR OWN UNIQUE STYLE OF LIVING AND LOVING!
AND THEN YOUR LIFE TURNED FROM GREAT BUSINESS SUCCESS TO NEW JOYS OF GRANDMOTHERHOOD AND A CHANCE TO SHARE YOUR WARMTH AND SWEETNESS WITH TWO GRANDCHILDREN, THAT IS REBECCA AND DAN. AS YOU GREW OLDER, YOU OPENED UP TO NEW COMMITMENTS FROM YOUR DAUGHTERS TO ASSIST YOU IN SHARING THEIR LOVE WITH YOU. THEY INTRODUCED YOU TO SOME NEW MEN THAT WERE CALLED THEIR HUSBANDS AND OF COURSE, THE HUSBANDS BROUGHT THEIR FAMILIES INTO YOUR WORLD. I KNOW THAT YOU HAD GREAT LOVE FOR DAVID’S CREW AS THEY EMBRACED YOU AS ONE OF THEIR OWN. MEMORABLE MOMENTS WERE THE VISITS FROM THE “OUT OF TOWN” DAUGHTERS AS YOU FOUND JOY IN THEIR VISITS AS EACH DAUGHTER BROUGHT A DIFFERENT SPIRIT AND ENERGY TO THEIR SPECIAL TIME SPENT ONLY WITH YOU. OF COURSE, YOUR “IN TOWN” DAUGHTER BROUGHT YOU DAILY DOSES OF LOVE AND SOME GOOD FOOD TOO, SO IT WAS CLEAR THAT SOOKY AND HER DAUGHTERS WAS ALWAYS A WINNING COMBINATION.
SO NOW THE FLAGS ARE AT HALF MAST, THE BELLS ARE MUFFLED, AND WE QUIETLY SHED OUR TEARS FOR THE LOSS OF OUR DEAR SOOKY. WE HAD A GLORIOUS EVENING ABOUT A YEAR AGO WHEN WE CELEBRATED YOUR 90TH. IT WAS A SPECIAL NIGHT WITH A MAGNIFICENT OUTPOURING OF LOVE FOR YOU. CLEARLY YOU WERE TICKLED BY THE COMEDY/MUSICAL SKETCH OF DEBRA AND OF COURSE, THE MOMENT WHEN YOUR FOUR DAUGHTERS STOOD SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH YOU TO DEMONSTRATE THEIR UNIFIED COMMITMENT AND LOVE FOR THEIR SOOKY. SO IT’S TIME TO REST, TIME TO MOURN, TIME TO SAY GOOD BYE TO OUR SOOKY……WE MAY SAY GOOD BYE BUT ALL OF US WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE THE SAN FRANCISCO ORIGINAL, THE REAL THING, AND OUR MOTHER, MOTHER IN LAW AND GRANDMOTHER……WE COULDN’T ASK FOR MORE FROM YOU AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL FOR YOU AND YOUR LIFE.
Westcheddar 
Daniel,
I read the eulogy and smiled. Thank you for sharing it. I have very fond memories of spending time with your grandma on her east coast visits. I am still surprised the Cuddy’s never did find her as we searched the hills of San Francisco saying – Anybody know Sooky?
Dan I am sorry for your loss- Grandmothers give a special kind of love. So happy that Dana had the opportunity to meet her.
Love Trice
Lovely memories from a larger than life grandson and his equally large grandma. I was lucky to get to know her and be in your lives.
A
Dear Gail, Jimmy, Rebecca and Dan,
I was moved by your beautiful tributes to Sooky. Over
the years that I have heard your family stories,
I have continued to picture Sooky as I experienced her when I was in college and as you describe her here–strong, independent, and loving. Your songfest
sounds like a meaningful bonding of family as you celebrated her long life and its impact on all of you.
Love,
Susan G.
Dear Gail, Jimmy, Becca, Dan,
It’s a hard thing, losing your Grandma Sooky, two months after my mom passed away (with my two sisters and devoted caregiver at her side) at age 93. Sooky always treated me like family, and I got to meet her mother, Rose, and brother Abe. I never met her grandchildren, but their comings and goings (and awards, first words, grades, degrees and accomplishments) were shared by their proud Grandma. She resisted the Internet, as any sensible nonagenarian would. If she were able to see Daniel’s touching blog with its lovely reminiscences, she would have been justifiably proud. She will never be forgotten.
Hello All,
I came to Nob Hill in 1976, and soon there after met your grandmother. Such a force of nature she was. Always wispering in my ear and makeing me laugh. I can still hear her voice to this day. She lived just down the block from me and when our paths would cross it was always a good day.
As with Peter Mintun, my mother passed away just a few short weeks ago. It’s been hard to think she is gone. But with your grandmother, whe will live on in the memories of thoes she touched. Believe me when i say, she touch a lot of people.
P.
Timeless & ageless are words that I’ve always associated with Sooky from the moment I set eyes on her listening to Peter Mintun’s piano playing. Maybe it was because of lounge lighting…maybe because of my lounge lizard eyes, but she was always so beautifully stylish. And, what gams too! To think that her broad smile, when Peter played her favorite song–“I’m Putting All My Eggs In One Basket,” will now be a twinkle in the night sky, brings a tear to my eye. But, she’s always a star! –God Bless her.
Dan: I’m friends with your Aunt Judy and have met you many years ago when u were a little boy. I met Sooky a number of times – when i lived in NYC she visited. She was so full of life – she was in her early 70’s at the time – wearing a very short skirt and doing the town up – she barely had time to visit. When i told her how great she looked in her mini skirt – she said ‘Honey, the legs are the last to go”. I got such a huge kick out of her – as i do of all your family. May God guide you and be with you during this time of grief. You are a lucky young man to have had Sooky in your life. My love to your mom.
Victoria